Did you ever watch Lizzie McGuire growing up?
I used to be the BIGGEST fan.
Do you remember how her mind was an animated character that would jump out, freaking out, or having dramatic commentary to every situation?
Yeah. I loved it so much because my brain worked the same way.
Ok, not really “worked”. I’m still pretty much like that.
One of the things I’ve been more consistent with in my life (besides sunscreen since I was 15) have been my freaking out sessions, a lot of times admittedly unjustified.
But hey, sometimes a girl needs her drama, ya know?
I basically have constant commentary going on in my mind 24/7.
I’ll justify it by saying that I’m a highly sensitive and creative person.
Others will call me drama queen.
But whatever. Tomato – tomahto, right?
😏
The truth is, telling the difference between my intuition and fear has always been a struggle for me.
And with time I’ve learned that for millions of women too!
Just between us, probably, including you 😂.
That’s why I quickly knew that if I wanted to have conversations on how to lead and approach our relationships femininely, I first needed to explore the topic of intuition.
Putting MY Detective Hat On
So I decided to go to the experts, and interview a counselor from my Mount Rushmore of mental health, Maria Arana.
She’s a licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Addiction Professional, and Internationally Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor with over 20 years of experience.
She has a Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling and a Post-Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology with specialties in Addiction Disorders and Trauma.
Needless to say, she’s just freaking amazing.
You can listen to the full interview on my podcast, but here are some of the BIGGEST takeaways:
- What is intuition and what is fear
- How to tell the difference between the two
- The importance of self-awareness
- The L’Oreal intuition: are we really worth it?
- 4 tips to improve your intuition
This blog post doesn’t substitute therapy or professional counseling. You can take this guide as a top of the line source of knowledge for mental health.
If you’re feeling imbalanced in any area of your life, I always recommend therapy to be guided from a clinical perspective that’s specific to your situation.
No shame in that, I’m a huge fan of therapy.
♡
P.S. this post may contain affiliate links. This means that if you click through and purchase something, I may receive a portion of the price. It’s at no extra cost to you, but the profits go directly back into improving this blog!
Back to basics
Intuition has become one of those Pinterest-friendly buzzwords.
It seems like no one knows what it truly means, yet we talk about it constantly.
For a while, I even thought that it was something related to mysticism, and it meant following some type of ritual.
But the more I’ve learned about it, and how it’s so naturally connected to us as women, the more interested I’ve gotten about it.
I know we usually confuse the intuition and with the feeling of fear in our bodies.
Enter exhibit A: my friend Marimar once told me that she was going to keep dating a guy she wasn’t too crazy about, because she didn’t know if her intuition was telling her that he wasn’t the right person, or if it was her fear of commitment.
And I’ve been there too!
So, of course, my very first question was: how do I differentiate intuition from fear?
Maria Arana defined them so easily:
Intuition:
Intuition is the ability to understand something right away.
There’s no conscious reasoning behind it.
If you’ve done my free mini course on How to Make Confident Choices, then you know that this looks a lot like your “gut”.
It’s instinctive, and it comes peacefully. It doesn’t come screaming or with anxiety.
Intuition just knows.
Intuition comes from what Maria calls “a higher place”; it’s not an emotion.
There’s nothing painful, negative or disruptive about intuition.
Fear:
Fear, on the contrary, is an emotion. It lets you know that you’re in danger.
It’s attached to a message of “run the other way”.
Fear reminds us about our past, tells us to be cautious because we’ve been hurt before.
Fear also rings the alarms, because it knows that the future may be too risky.
Fear looks a looot like those Lizzy McGuire-style mini panic attacks!
How Can You Tell The Difference?
The biggest difference is that with intuition, the conscious is not involved. With fear, the conscious is involved.
Another huge difference is that “intuition doesn’t look at the future or the past, fear does. Intuition is about the present.
Intuition is not about your psychological wounds. Fear can be cruel, can be demeaning. Intuition is a confirmation of something you already know”.
Physically, fear feels like you’re closing up. You feel like everything is getting tighter.
With intuition, we’re talking about expansion. It feels like growth, like it’s something you look forward to.
Does Self-awareness Have A Role In All Of This?
Simply put, self-awareness is “the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively through reflection and introspection” (via).
Some experts have even divided it into internal self-awareness and external self-awareness.
Basically, the internal one is about how clearly we see ourselves and who we are, our values, preferences, etc.
External self-awareness is about understanding how other people see us when it comes to those areas.
According to Maria Arana, our self-awareness 100% affects our intuition.
It seems obvious right?
If we’re not clear on who we are and how we’re coming across, it will be waaay harder for us to connect with that “knowing” that’s trying to show us the right path.
And hey, I’m not talking about being hyper self-aware either.
I know we all love a good ole personality test.
It’s hard to even talk about our personality without mentioning our Enneagram number.
And don’t make me go into my old astrology-obsessed days.
These tools can be fun and even helpful, up to a point.
But when we want to become self-aware, there are no shortcuts.
We must do the work.
And we must develop patience. Because at the end of the day, nothing beats experience.
For Maria Arana, having over 20 years of experience working with people is part of what’s helped her become self-aware.
The L’Oreal Intuition
Who hasn’t seen the famous L’Oreal commercial “Because I’m worth it”?
It’s been around since the ‘70s with a few updates here and there, but it’s still an icon of empowerment for women.
I mean, it doesn’t get better than Meredith Baxter confidently walking through the jungle telling women that we deserve to feel luxurious, because we’re worth it, right?
At the time, it was a wild and bold statement, because back in 1973 men were the ones starring shampoo commercials for women!
Ugh, I know. Unbelievable.
Side note: If you’re up to a fun and quick history lesson, you can check out this video,
In short: that commercial was so successful because it was one of the first times that advertisement gave women a voice.
But a lot has changed since 1973, and the reasons behind the phrase “I’m worth it” have evolved too.
Before my conversation with Maria, I felt a little conflicted by that phrase, and even wondered how it can affect our intuition.
Some of the questions that my inner Lizzie McGuire had were:
- When does it stop being self-love and starts becoming entitlement? When do we start believing that all our desires need to be met because “we’re worth it”?
- If we’re already perfect and worth it, where’s the space for self-reflection and identifying the areas where we need to grow?
- Why are we confusing our worth as human beings with our perceived right to have all our desires come to fruition?
- What happens when our intuition is clouded by this “I’m worthy of the world” thought pattern?
We’re Not Entitled, But It Doesn’t Have To Be Black And White Either
When I asked Maria these questions, she pointed out that she likes to be careful with the words she uses.
She said that she prefers to say: “You Are Enough”.
“Instilling in young women that they are enough, is the new way of looking at women in this new era of 2020.
In order to feel like you’re enough, you have to do the work. You have to look inside of you, and have that honest conversation we all should have.
Figure out what needs tweaking, and how much tweaking are we talking about”.
She also talked about the importance of remembering that everything is a process.
You Can Be Enough And Still Need Tweaking
“This is a journey. You are enough no matter where you are in your life.
When you seek help, you do it, not because there’s something wrong with you, but because you want to take care of your health.”
The way I see it now brings me so much compassion towards myself and others.
It’s so true!
We’re not enough in the sense of self-righteousness, but we’re enough in the sense of having unique and irreplaceable personal value.
As a Christian, it even confirmed that I’m made enough and right through Jesus’ love. I don’t need additional validation.
So, in a way, understanding that we’re enough regardless of where we are in our journey, can be a freeing mindset shift.
Once we’re free of the perfection trap, we can truly love and accept our intuition.
4 Simple Tips For A Better Connection With Your Intuition
1. Find the Expert
Something Maria likes to constantly highlight, is the importance of going to experts whenever we’re feeling out of balance.
Just like our cars need service every few months, so does our mind.
She has an incredible practice, Mind and Soul, where they treat adults everywhere from a minor imbalance, to people that are diagnosed with a mental health disorder.
They’re located in Miami, but because of Covid, they’re also offering remote therapy (silver lining right?).
Whether you decide to contact Maria, or another professional, I highly recommend finding someone who uses a holistic approach.
We’re more than just the mind, and our intuition comes from a combination of factors!
2. Take care of your nutrition
Maria is all about drinking her coconut and pineapple water.
“Look at what you’re putting in your body. It’s not about being perfect, but about trying to be a better version of yourself on a daily basis”.
Looking more into this, I even found out that there’s multiple research that proves how our nutrition can affect our intuition.
The use of alcohol, recreational drugs, smoking, and eating junk food are some of the factors that can negatively impact our intuition.
The relationship between nutrition and intuition goes even deeper.
There’s a great spiritual practice called Fasting (no, it’s not your weight-loss type of fasting).
It’s about abstaining from food for a couple of days before making an important decision in order to clearly hear from the Holy Spirit!
So, being aware and intentional with what we eat can make a huge intuitive difference.
3. Pay Attention to What You’re Doing With Your Body:
Yeah, I know. I didn’t want another reminder that I need to move my body more consistently.
But Maria is completely right.
We need to move. And not only 45 minutes a day gym-style.
“From sitting in a chair doing some movement while you’re listening to your favorite music, to walking your dog to stretching every morning”.
Every bit of movement counts.
Did you know that even intuitive exercise is a thing? I highly recommend reading more about it, it’s fascinating!
4. Let it Go
Cultivating intuition through healthy habits and the right experts is super necessary, but we also need to let the process flow and intuition grow.
As Intuitive Business Coach, Darya Knysh, also says: “We’re all intuitive, we have just been disconnected from it”.
Maria Arana reminded me that “the mind, the body and the soul are one, and they need to be balanced for you to be balanced”.
So any time you’re feeling out of balance, take action, but also be kind enough to let the process have its effect.
I knowwww this topic of intuition is fascinating and we could talk about it for hours.
With time I’ve learned to love my inner Lizzie, while still understanding that my intuition speaks in a more calm and collected way.
Now that you have all this clarity about intuition, I think it’s the perfect time to download my FREE mini course on How to Make Confident Choices.
You will learn how to understand and connect with your head, heart, and gut to make the right decision for YOU.
Just click here and it will be arriving right to your inbox!
And don’t worry, I have more intuition goodness coming up!! Can’t wait.
♡
With love, E.
