Today I have a highly requested post!
But first, a MAJOR life update.
Soooo… in case you don’t follow me on Instagram or are subscribed to my newsletter, after this year of craziness, Woo and I finally got married!!! 
P.S. this post may contain affiliate links. This means that if you click through and purchase something, I may receive a portion of the price. It’s at no extra cost to you, but the profits go directly back into improving this blog!
Yes, we got married on October 10th (10/10/2020)! It still feels so surreal, I’m trying to gather my thoughts so expect a post on our wedding very soon.
There has been tons of changes going on, from starting a new life together, to moving to a different state (bye-bye Florida!), to working hard on my business and this platform that is Fairly Bold.
Let’s say that at times it feels like I’m biting off more than I can chew, but the positive side is that I’ve had thousands of incredible content ideas that I can’t wait to share with you.
One of my biggest lessons so far has been learning the power of negotiation.
Oh boy.
I knew that marriage would be all about compromise, but I wasn’t expecting that it would be this hard not having everything go my way.
Like, why am I not deciding on every single piece of decor?
Sorry Mister, but I’ve had my Pinterest Home Decor board for months, for you to come now with your furniture suggestions!
Jk jk.
Ok, only partially 
.
And cleaning… I cannot clean a bathroom. Sorry. It’s just beyond me.
So I’ve been happy to take other household responsibilities to make sure I neeever touch a toilet sponge 
.
Another huge thing for me has been consistent cooking.
Let’s put it this way: I’ve never been one of those girls who truuuly enjoys the time spent creating new recipes and baking pumpkin bread on the first fall morning.
Yeah I know. I guess that working at Martha Stewart Living Magazine won’t ever happen for me.
That’s why I’m so thankful for the best airfryer in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD.
It’s so good that I feel it even deserves its own post.
My Air Fryer came with its own short and easy recipe book and it has quick recipes for all main ingredients you can think of.
It saves me time, and allows me to trick my husband into thinking that he’s getting chef quality meals (which means less cleaning for me. Yay! 
).
Let’s say this: this air fryer has considerably increased my negotiation power 
.
High quality negotiation resources
Since I love finding the best tips to improve different areas in your life, I knew that I had to dig deeper to learn more about negotiation.
Especifically, salary negotiation.
We’re always negotiating in most areas of our lives.
Whether it’s a better salary with our bosses, or the division of the household work with our partners.
Negotiation is a skill that you can’t afford to ignore going into 2021.
Sascha Fogel: simply the best
That’s why for today’s podcast episode I reached out to my mentor and one of the best negotiators I’ve ever met: Sascha Fogel.
She’s a coach with 20 years of experience in sales training and enablement.
I had the pleasure of working with her in the past for career coaching, and let me tell you: it’s been one the best investments EVER.
With her tips I was able to, not only gain clarity on my professional future, but to negotiate a raise of 25% at my previous job!!!
I know, pretty incredible.
Sascha is fun, smart, sassy and loving.
And yeah, she’s one of the best out there.
So in our conversation I picked her mind about:
- How to improve your negotiation skills
- How to be a feminine negotiator
- The actual negotiation process
- The importance of taking action in the process of negotiation
As always, you can listen to the full episode on iTunes, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts from.
On the podcast, we went deeper into entrepreneurship, including how to set your prices, how to communicate it to clients, and what to do when your client asks for a lower rate.
I’m telling you, this is a good one that you’re gonna want to bookmark!
How to improve your negotiation skills
You know when you go to the gym the first time and you feel like you’re having a heart attack after 5 minutes on the treadmill?
Yet, all health specialists tell us that we’re supposed to sweat every day for optimal health.
Yeah, the same happens with negotiation. It’s a muscle that needs training, and the sooner we get on it, the better.
Sascha thinks that we’re always negotiating, whether we notice it or not.
We negotiate with our insurance, our partner, and even ourselves!
According to Sascha, negotiation is literally like a muscle.
“The more you do it, the more comfortable you feel applying to different areas of your life. Imagine that you’re going to the gym.
You’re lifting weights, but with time, you’ll have the strength to lift up boxes when you’re moving, or if or when you have kids you’ll have the stamina to run after them.
So it’s a skill that you started developing in the gym, but then you’re able to implement it in different areas of your life”.
So true!
So the sooner we start getting comfortable with the reality of negotiation, the quicker we’ll improve our negotiation skills.
Femine Negotiation
When I asked Sascha about how to negotiate femininely, she talked about the importance of tuning in to our sensitivity.
I’ve talked about it before, but there are feminine qualities within us as women that can really help us become the best negotiators in the room.
For example, our sensitivity comes in super handy when it allows us to be able to sense other people’s reactions and emotions.
Sascha says: “you can use sensitivity as a tool.
So when you’re negotiating, understanding the other person and getting clear on where they’re coming from, that’s where sensitivity comes in”.
There’s been tons of studies on this subject, but one in particular, in 2009, showed that when studying male and female brains, females’ “showed stronger neural activation across all three empathy tasks in emotion-related areas, including the amygdala”.
So yes, women are biologically more inclined to access our emotions than men.
Some may say that this is a negative quality and that, in order to be empowered, we need to let go of our emotions.
However, Sascha shows a different perspective, and I’m all for it!
The actual negotiation process
Now that we know that our nature gives us some advantage in negotiation, it’s time to learn how this process actually works.
1. Your third grade teacher was right: it all starts when you do your homework
We need to be prepared by the time we arrive at the negotiation table.
And Sascha is a firm believer in planning. This planning process includes:
1.1. Do an internal audit:
We first need to understand what we bring to the role. Open a Google Doc and start getting your thoughts out of your head.
This information comes from looking at your certifications, degrees, unique experiences, tangible results, etc.
Also, understand your strengths and where you would need to improve.
We need to look at our professional value as a whole.
“Don’t undersell nor oversell yourself. You can hit your sweet spot, you need to see where you are”, Sashca adds.
1.2. Research the market:
Once you know what you’re offering, you can find the market rate for that type of job or the service you’re offering.
In case you haven’t noticed, Sascha and I both LOVE writing things down. Write the value you bring to the role.
“Write it out, get it out of your head, when you’re super clear on that, you’re able to articulate it better”.
1.3. Have a number. Know what you want:
Another huge part of this planning process is knowing what it is that we want.
Sascha says that “not all compensation is monetary. You can get extra time off, being able to work from home, etc.”
Another SUPER USEFUL tip is knowing that when we ask for the bare minimum, we will get the bare minimum.
2. Match your confidence with the numbers
You’ll hear tons of different opinions when it comes to giving an actual number.
However, Sascha recommends giving a tight range, where the number you want to land on is included.
Some of her rules of thumb when setting a price are:
2.1. Always set your target higher:
Ask for more than what you want. If you want 50k, you have to ask for 55k – 58k.
2.2. Have your list handy:
That list you created on the first step? Yeah. Have it ready next to you.
Sascha uses this example: “Let’s say the description asks for x, y, z, you need to show why you’re worth more than the base they’re offering.
For example, show that you have extra experience, you bring knowledge of another industry, you’re bilingual, etc.”
2.3. Be concise:
I laughed with this one because it’s so true!
Sashca says that when we negotiate via email, we have a tendency to write A LOT of things.
In the past, both by email and in person, I’ve tried to seem assertive, but not too greedy.
I’ve overwritten or over spoken because I didn’t want to burn my chances.
Worst. Mistake. Ever. 😖
Instead, Sascha recommends going back to that one thing we want and going for it.
“Ask yourself: what is it that I want? And go after that one thing. It can be more vacation time, working from home, higher salary base, etc.
You don’t go after 5 different things that you want, you go after one”.
Yeah, read that one again if you need to.
In my experience, I usually don’t go below the market average because I know that I’m bringing tons of experience and a diverse background to the role.
But I’ve had my times of lower confidence, so I get you!
2.4. What to do if they don’t move
If the person you’re negotiating with isn’t capable of meeting you where you are, it’s time to make a choice.
If this is your situation right now, I have a super useful free guide to making excellent choices.
And I love the additional tips that Sascha provides:
“You have to make a choice: do you want that job so badly that you have to say okay, or is that job not for you?”.
Don’t worry, my free guide is here to help you in this process.
Sascha also adds: “if you’re in a financial crisis and you need the money, there’s not much of a choice to make, sadly. Single mom needing to feed their children: there’s not a lot to do”.
But let’s say that you’re somewhat comfortable and you just want a new opportunity, and a company is trying to take advantage, ask yourself:
“Do I wanna work for that kind of company?
Because if that’s how they do their hiring, how are they going to be to work for? So start looking at your values: what is it that you want from that job?”
Another huge step is looking at your bank account and analyzing what you need to be making.
Can you afford taking a pay cut because of the amazing experience you’re getting out of the role?
Everything matters in the decision making process.
The whole process of negotiation is about taking action
When you make a choice you’re taking an action, you’re not just going with the flow.
And I absolutely love that!
Negotiation starts with getting the information that we need to make the best choice for us and our career.
As I always say, after making a choice, I’m a huge proponent of moving on, working hard and looking forward to the result.
There’s nothing worse than going back in our heads to that negotiation every week wishing we had done something different.
Okay, maybe not having an air fryer in my house could be worse, but we’re being serious now 😜.
If you want to hear some special additional tips for entrepreneurs, make sure to catch my full conversation with Sascha on the Fairly Bold Podcast.
I hope these tips can be useful to you! What is ONE action you’re taking today to improve your negotiation skills?
Maybe it’s taking inventory of your skills? Or reviewing one big financial goal for the end of the year?
Whatever it is, make sure to tag me on your stories so I can repost it and inspire others in this community to live femininely boldly in all areas of life!
I can’t wait to see you again soon!
With love, E. ♡